Gaje Script

The GREEN SHIT REVOLUTION

Dirigen      : ayoo kawan kawan ambil suara 1 2 3 , kambing kamu yang pertama.

Kambing   : mbek mbek mbek mbek mbek mbeek mbeeek mbeeeek (menirukan doremifasolasido versi mbek )

Dirigen      : oke nadanya kurang ditinggiin lagi ya mbing, lu kayaknya harus rajin latihan breathing deh . oke ?

Kambing   : mbek.

Dirigen      : next, giliran si empus, mana empus, sembunyi aje lu, sini tes suara 1 2 3.

Kucing      : miaw miaw miaw miaw miaw miaaw miaaaw miaaaaaaawwwwww aaw

Dirigen      : ketinggian pus, woles aje kali, ini kan masih latihan, besok kalo di kontes nadanya setinggi itu ye. Oke ?

Kucing      : miaw (hormat)

Dirigen      : oke yang ketiga si sapi, siap yaa 1 2 3

Sapi           : moo moo  moo moo moo moo mooo moooo (nada terakhir rendah)

Dirigen      : stop stop, lu bikin kor ini jadi berantakan aje, belajar doremifasolasido dulu noh ah lu mah bleguk siah. (geleng-geleng) . lanjut tik pitik, siap suara 1 2 3

Ayam         : kukuruyuk-kokokpetok kukuruyuk-kokokpetok.

Dirigen      : stoooopp , lu bikin gondok gue aje ye, kalo satu nada aja lu segitu panjangnya, trus kapan selesainya cintaaa, bikin yang pendek aje deh , kuku kek, ruyuk kek, kokok juga bisa. Lanjut

Ayam         : kok kok kok kok kok kook kook kooooookk (dengan nada 8 oktaf)

Dirigen      : wah lu jelek jelek, suara bagus juga, pertahankan oke ?

Ayam         : kukuruyuk-kokokpetok.

Dirigen      : terserah ape kate lu dah. Lanjut njing anjing sini lu, anjing banget sih lu, udah cebok belon lu, dari tadi gue liatin ngangkat satu kaki mulu . jorok amat sih lu jadi anjing mah. Oke siap suara njing 1 2 3

Anjing       : guk guk (menyalak)

Dirigen      : woles njing, woles . nada pertamanya tuh rendah dulu oke. lu bikin orang serem aja, muke udah serem, nyalak nyalak lagi. Untung tuh lidah ga dikeluarin. Awas kalo sampe dikeluarin, gue gunting aje tuh pake taring beruang.

Anjing       : guk guk guk (semakin menyalak)

Dirigen      : lu ngajak telesan ya njing (logat jawa ngapak) . sini lu kalo berani .

Anjing       : (maju mendekati dirigen)      

Dirigen      : (menciut) eh santai njing santai, kita damai aje ye . oke, lanjut ambil suara njing 1 2 3

Anjing       : guk....guk....guk.....guk....guk....guuk...guuuk....guuuuuuuukk uguk uguk uguk uguk(batuk ala anjing)

Dirigen      : noh kan njing, gue bilang apa, woles aje, lu terlalu semangat sih jadi batuk gitu kan. Berubung lu masih 11 tahun, minum konidin anak dulu noh . selanjutnya kita panggilkan inilah dia maskot kita abad lalu . monyeeettt

Monyet      :  (keluar dari dalem ketek beruang) (jalan sambil dadah dadah kayak miss universe)

Dirigen      : yaaahh lagak lu nyet nyet sok ngartis. Tiap malem minta diambilin kutunye ame mak lu. Dasar monyet lu. Siapp nyet 1 2 3

Monyet      : u’uk...a’ak... u’uk... a’ak.... u’ukk.... a’aaaakkkk

Dirigen      : stop stop, ah lu nyet, konsisten dong kalo u’uk ya u’uk aja jangan u’uk a’ak u’uk a’ak.

Monyet      : u’uk a’ak .

Dirigen      : udah dibilangin kalo mau ngomong tuh satu kata aje nyet. Monyet lu.

Monyet      : sialan lu, monyet emang gini bego (sambil nunjuk-nunjuk)

Dirigen      : lu bisa ngomong nyet, aje gile lu nyet.

Monyet      : u’uk a’ak (kembali ke habitat)

Dirigen      : ape kate lu dah nyet, terserah lu aje dah mo u’uk kek, mo a’ak ke mo e’ek sekalian terserah deh yang penting lu sebagai maskot harus bisa menjunjung nama baik hutan belulang ini oke ?

Monyet      : u’uk e’ek.

Dirigen      : lhah ganti pasal lu nyet

Monyet      : u’uk e’ek (muka ngernyit, tangan berkeringat)

Dirigen      : nyet lu kenape nyet , tangan lu dingin banget.

Monyet      : u’uuuk e’...ekk (terengah engah)

Dirigen      : nape sih lu nyet, bau apaan ini, kayak bau kentut. Sape nih yang kentut ? elu yah njing?

Anjing       : anjing lu, ngatain gua lagi.

Dirigen      : lha trus sape dong, yang suka ngangkat satu kaki pan elu mah.

Anjing       : itu bukan gara-gara gua boker bego. Gua cuma mau nunjukin keseksian gua sama si empus miaawww (njulurin lidah)

Kucing      : hueeekk najis (muntah)

Dirigen      : udah udah njing, kembali ke habitat elu yeh. Ini sape nih yang kentut ? hayo ngaku ga lu pade ?

Monyet      : u’uk e’ek... gue bego.

Dirigen      : elu nyet. Oh maiGOD bau kentut lu nyet kagak nahan. Gua yakin kalo tuh kentut dijadiin bahan amunisi. Para pemburu bakalan mampus satu persatu.

Monyet      : apa kate lu dah gen. Woy bantuin gue ngeluarin dong sumpah susah banget nih.

Dirigen      : jadi lu ga Cuma kentut doang nyet, ada yang mo keluar juga.

Monyet      : u’uk a’ak...(sambil gigit sapu tangan *ngempet*)

Dirigen      : oke nyet, tenang aje kite kan solid, iye ga guys? Mari kita bersama sama membantu proses pembokerannya si monyet.

Kucing      : cuiihh ogah deh gue miaww , lu aje tuh kalo mau. Gue mau pergi nyari om om (mlengos, ngibasin rambut)

Anjing       : empus miaaww . tungguuiiiinn . guk guk

Dirigen      : woy, terus kornye gimane nih, tinggal besok kontesnya men.

Kucing+anjing : emang gue pikirin miaww guk guk

Dirigen      : sial, aaaarrrgghh oke, tinggal kita berlima nih. Selama masih ada elu yam gue yakin kita bisa.

Ayam         : jadi gue dimanfaatin nih ceritanya ?

Dirigen      : ya kagak lah yam, kalo kite menang pan elu juga bisa nikmatin hadiahnye.

Ayam         : tapi kagak sama mereka bertiga dir, gue ga punya kepercayaan menang kalo sama mereka bertiga. Itu sama aja mempermaluin diri gue didepan panggung tau ga ?

Dirigen      : lu jangan mikir kayak gitu dulu lah yam, kite pan sama sama belajar, oke lu punya suara sebagus meriyah keri. Seenggaknya lu bisa bantu mereka pan buat berkembang ?

Ayam         : iyasih, tapi gue tetep ga bisa, coba bayangin kalo suara indah gue tertutupi ama suara hancur mereka? Siap siap dilemparin e’ek kebo deh. Gue ga bisa pokoknya. Gue butuh waktu sendiri, sorry guys .

Monyet      : yam, jangan pergi yam. A..yaaaammm (masih ngeden)

Dirigen      : oke guys, gua tahu kalian berdua orang yang setia. Sekarang kite bantu si monyet ngeluarin e’eknya. Ntar baru kite pikirin buat kor besok.

Sapii          : siaap boss . mooooo

Kambing   : mbeeekkkk, apa yang harus kita lakukan dir ?

Dirirgen     : sapi lu pegangin kakinya monyet, kambing lu kepalanya. Nyet tengkurep lu nyet.

Monyet      : u’uk a’ak. Eh tunggu dulu, tutupin selimut dong ah, malu kan ama penonton.

Dirigen      : aje gile lu nyet. Liat muke lu aje pengen ngeludahin apelagi liat pantat lu, kagak ade yang sudi liat dah.

Monyet      : udah tutupin aja napa.

Dirigen      : iye nyet, iye woles brad. Mbing ambil selimut mbing.

Kambing   : mbeekkk

Kemudian Dirigen menyelimuti sang monyet, sapi pegang kakinya, kambing pegang kepalanya, sang monyet tengkurep dan akhirnya tidur setelah disuntik vaksin.

Dirigen      : wah udah bukaan dua nih, mbing ambil gunting yang lebih tajem mbing.

Kambing   : mbeeekk

Dirigen      : sapi lu ambil pisau yang paling tajem, kayaknye kite harus melakukan operasi.

Sapi           : mooooooo

Dirigen      : nyet monyet. Bangun lu , di grepe grepe malah tidur lu.

Monyet      : abis, pijitan lu mantep banget gen.

Dirigen      : anjirr lu nyet. Cuci 7 kali nih tangan.

Monyet      : u’uk e’ek (njulurin lidah)

Si kambing dan sapi datang bersama gunting dan pisaunya

Kambing   : ini gen guntingnya (terengah engah)

Sapi           : pisaunya bos (terseok seok)

Dirigen      : bisa diandelin elu pade ye ternyate. Oke, persiapkan diri lu ya nyet. Ini ga terlalu sakit kok, paling Cuma berdarah dikit.

Monyet      : gue dibius dulu kek.

Dirigen      : lu kate gua dokter bedah yang kalo ngoperasi ngebius. Bius sendiri ame kentut lu noh.

Tiba tiba si monyet.....

Monyet      : bsss aahhh (tidur)

Dirigen      : sial lu nyet. Monyet lu sumpah kalo lu sembuh gue sumpel tuh pantat.

Kambing   : cepetan gen, waktu kita tinggal sebentar lagi.

Sapi           : ayo dir kita juga harus siap siap kompetisi kornya.

Dirigen      : diem deh lu pade. Gua lagi konsen nih. Aduh bukaannye kecil banget ye.

Sapi           : butuh arit dir ?

Dirigen      : kagak perlu, ini udah mo selese kok. Oke udah keliatan tuh, lu pade mo liat kagak ?

Kambing   : sorry gen, meskipun ga searogan kucing sama ayam. Gue tetep ga sudi liat begituan.

Sapi           : moooooo

Dirigen      : kalo gitu kalian berdua siapin kain.

Sapi           : buat apa gen.

Dirigen      : buat gedong nih e’ek. Ya kagak lah masak gua mau grepe grepe tuh e’ek. Gua juga masih punya harga diri kaleh.

Lalu sapi pergi ke belakang mencari kain.

Sapi           : nih gen kainnya.

Dirigen      : (ngambil kain dari sapi. Masukin kain ke dalam selimut yang berisi pantat monyet) . guys bantu gue kalian nge-kor doremifasolasido yak biar e’ek ini bisa keluar 1 2 3

Kambing+sapi : mbek...moo...mbek....moo....mbeekk.....mooo.....mbeeeekkk......moooooo...... mbeeeekkk........mooooooooooooooooooooooooooo........ (nada sopran sapi ala gita gutawa)

Dirigen      : Alhamdulillah, sudah keluar. Suara kalian berdua emang dahsyat ajee gile. Nyet bangun lu nyet. Nih e’ek lu, lu ga mo liat untuk terakhir kali.

Monyet      : ya Tuhan berikan e’ekku kekuatan menghadapi semua ini, terimalah dia disisimu ya Tuhan. Jadikanlah dia e’ek yang berguna bagi pantat dan jamban amiinn.

Dirigen      : amiinn . hiks hiks (nangis jeger)

Kambing   : ayo guys, kompetisinya udah mau mulai tuh.

Sapi           : semangaaat

Monyet      : yah, kita berempat pasti bisa.

Dirigen      : ambil suaraaa teman teman satu duaa tii....

Ayam         : stooopp. Tungguin gue.

Dirigen      : lhah, nape balik lagi lu yam, katanye mereka bertiga bukan level lu ?

Ayam         : gue berubah pikiran. Gue baru sadar kalo gue juga masih kurang tapi gue malah ngeremehin kekurangan orang lain, gue ga bisa sendirian guys. Gue juga butuh kalian semua. Mari kita berjuang bersama.

Dirigen      : hiks. Gua semakin terharu guys. Kalian bener hewan yang solid.

Kambing   : dan tak pandang bulu.

Monyet      : udah udah, reuniannya entar aja. Sekarang mari meluncur, cauuss.

Di TKP “the animal choir competition”

Kucing      : miaaw miaaw miaww miaw miaaww (dengan nada lagu viera bersamamu)

Juri            : okay, great super sekali mbak miaww .

Kucing      : nama gue empus jur.

Juri            : baiklah mbak empus, silahkan kembali ke tempat duduk. Selanjutnya mari kita panggilkan peserta terakhir . “green shit revolution”

Dirigen      : (dadah dadah, sambil kissbye pada penonton)

Kambing   : mbeekkk

Sapi           : moooo

Monyet      : u’uk a’ak..

Ayam         : kukuruyuk kokokpetoookk.....

Dirigen      : lagu yang akan kita mainkan kali ini adalah. Cintaku tak terbendung luasnya (backsound my heart will go on) (nge-kor dengan lagu my heart will go on)

Setelah sejam menunggu

Juri            : baiklah, hasil keputusan juri malam ini pemenangnya adalah....

Kucing      : (maju kedepan) miaww miaww miawwmiaww thankyou thankyou

Juri            : bukan elu empus bego. Gue kan belom ngomong anjing lu.

Kucing      : sial lu gue kucing men. Mau gue e’ek’in nih.

Juri            : security, tangkap kucing jelek ini, masukin kandang kebo sana. Baiklah, dan pemenangnya adalaahhhh...

Juri            : adaalaaaaahhhh (sopran ala gita gutawa) green shit revolution . congratulation..

Dirigen      : yeeeee . kitee menaaaang

Kambing   : mbeeeekkkk

Sapi           : mooooooo

Ayam         : kokokpetok kokokpetoookk..

Suara riuh gemuruh seketika menghilang saat monyet.....

Monyet      : u’uk e’ek u’uk e’ek (megang lengan baju dirigen)

(hening)

Dirigen      : nape lu nyet ? boker lagi ?

Monyet      : u’uk e’ek u’uk e’ek (ngangguk ngangguk)

Dirigen      : oh shiitttttt ...... (megang kepala)

tamat

the quotes

1. you’ve got to think about big things while you’re doing small things so that all the small things go in the right direction  -*alvin toffler*

2. i don’t say we ought to behave but we ought to look as if we could -*orson welles*

3. nothing is impossible, the word itself says “i’m possible” -*audrey hepburn*

4. if people are trying to bring you down, it only means that you’re above them -*anonymous*

5. before you talk (listen), before you react (think), before you spend (earn), and before you quit (try) -*ernest hemingway*

6. slow down, calm down, don’t worry, don’t hurry, trust the process -*alexandra stoddard*

7. j’ai décidé d’être heureux parce que c’est bon pour la santé -*voltaire*

8. life is hard, it’s harder if you’re stupid -*john wayne*

9. let your hopes, not your hurts, shape your future -*robert schuller*

10. if you don’t like the road you’re walking, start paving another one -*anonymous*

11. life is like riding a bycicle, in order to keep your balance you must keep moving -*anonymous*

12. the greatest pleasure in life is doing what people said ‘you cannot do’ -*unknown*

13. the essence of true friendship is to make allowances for another’s little lapses -*david storey*

14. going to bed with a dream, and waking up with a purpose

15. good friends are like a star. You don’t always see them, but you know they’re always there -*oldsaying*

16. i knew i was in love when all those stupid love songs started to make sense

17. do not regret having lost yesterday, do not fear that you will lose tomorrow, enjoy today -*robert ingersoll*

18. when you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place

19. there are so many people out there who will tell you that you can’t, what you’ve got to do is to turn around and say ‘watch me’

20. crying doesn’t indicated that you’re weak, since birth , it has always a sign that you’re alive

21. don’t let your mind from having a good time

22. a girl doesn’t need anyone who doesn’t need her -*marilyn monroe*

23. set your goals high and don’t stop till you get there -*bo jackson*

24. when life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile *myfavequotes*_*

25. a bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking -*jerry seinfeld*

26. the best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be feel with the heart -*helen keller*

27. if you never chase your dream, you’ll never catch them

28. stop saying ‘i wish’ start saying ‘i will’

29. first learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak -*epictetus*

30. we don’t remember days, we remember moments -*cesare pavese*

31.success seems to be connected with action, successful people keep moving, they make mistake but they don’t quit -*conrad hilton*

32. “peace” doesn’t mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. It means to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart -*unknown*

33. life is too short to be anything but happy *_*

34. gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it’s very important that you do it

35. the only way to truly know a personis to argue with them. For when they argue in full swing, then they reveal their true character -*anne frank*

36. it’s never to late to be who you might have been -*george eliot*

37. the quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do -*anonym*

38. you decided every moment of everyday who you are and what you believe in, you get a second chance, every second

39. love like you’ll never be hurt, sing like no one is listening, dance like no one is watching, live like it’s heaven on earth

40. winning doesn’t always mean being first, winning means you ‘re doing better than you’ve done before –*bonnie blaire*

41. the only cure for resentment is forgiveness

42. people say you never know what you’ve got until it’s gone, the truth is, you knew what you had, you just never thought you would lose it

43. one day i caught myself smile for no reason, then i realized i was thinking of you

44. believe that life is worth living and your belief will help you create the fact -*william james*

45. to be a leader, you have to make people follow you, and nobody wants to follow someone who doesn’t know where he is going -*joe namath*

46. the most difficult phase of life is not when no one understands you, it’s when you don’t understand yourself

47. the worst mistake anyone can make is being afraid to make one

48. don’t be afraid to change, you may lose something good, but you may gain something better

49. “i’m wounded, but i’m not slain. I shall lay me down and rest a while, and then i will raise and fight again” -*anonymous*

50. i like people who smile when it’s raining

51. the only thing that keep me going is how brilliant and amazing i am

52. if you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten

53. it’s noble to teach oneself, but still nobler to teach others -*mark twain*

54. i have no special talents, i’m only passionately curious -*albert einstein*

55. i’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel -*maya angelou*

56. life isn’t waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain

57. the function of music is to release us from the tyranny of conscious thought

58. sometimes you just need to put the past away and move on with your life

59. let the pass remind you how the present should be

60. laugh when you can, apologize when you should, let go of what you can’t change, take chances, give everything, and never regret

61. if you want the rainbow, sometimes you gotta put up with the rain -*dolly parton*

62. if something is not happening for you, it doesn’t mean it’s never going to happen. It means you’re not ready for it

63. don’t let go of your dreams. If you have determination and believe in your dreams, you will succed inspite of your desire to let go -*catherine pulsifer*

64. happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself -*ralph waldo emerson*

65. it sucks when you know that you need to let go but you can’t, because you’re still waiting for the impossible to happen

66. three sentences for getting success : know more than others, work more than others, expect less than others -*william shakespeare*

67. when you think you’re not happy with your life, always think that someone is happy simply because you exist

68. if you’re lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it -*john irving*

69. sometimes being an adultis exactly what you imagined it would be when you were five, staying up late and eating lucky charms for dinner -*ryan rollinson*

70. the only consistency in life is change

71. at the touch of love, everything becomes a poem -*plato*

72. do not fear death as much, rather the inadequate life -*bertolt brecht*

73. you cannot teach a man anything, you can only help him find it within himself -*galileo*

74. the best feelings are those that have no words to describe them

75. i have no yesterdays time took them away, tomorrow may not be, but i have today

76. beginning is easy, continuing is hard

77. you see things, and you say ‘why ?’. but i dream things that never were and i say ‘why not ?’

78. everything will be okay in the end, if it’s not okay, it’s not the end

79. sometimes i’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast

80. if you coul say it in words, there’s no reason to panic

81. just when caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly

82. everything happen for a reason

83. life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away

84. it’s not my fault that i’m better of without you

85. always be kind for everyone is fighting a hard battle -*plato*

86. happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony -*gandhi*

87. when you finally let go of the past, something better comes along

88. she turn her can’ts into cans, and her dreams into plans

89. life isn’t about finding yourself, life is about creating yourself -*george bernard shaw*

90. nothing lasts forever, so everything is a phase, some phase are just longer than others -*marcus flutie*

91. you are a victim of the rules you live by

92. the experience of creativity reunites me with my essence

93. i depressed when there is no sounds of music arround me #myquotes

94. i really like wasting time by watching korean drama #myquotes

95. i hate when i’m with my headphone on but someone’s trying to talk to me

96. it seems like i don’t really care, but i’m still curious about it #myquotes

97.my tears will run down like a stream when i listen to a really really good song #myquotes

98. it’s really fun to talk to yourself in the mirror when you’re alone #myquotes

99. instead of hanging out with my friend, i prefer lock me up in my room with my pinky nebby and listen to great songs with my headphone #myquotes

100. TAKE IT EASY AND HAVE FUN LIVING *FIGHTING*